The Out-of-Touch Adults' Guide to Kid Culture: Why Is Everyone 'Serving C*nt' on Social Media?
This week's 40,000-foot-view of youth features some new slang (which is probably already outdated because I know about it), bad behavior in Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, and a pop icon coming to the defense of a fan.
New slang, explained: Rizz, wokefishing, and serving cunt
Let's take a look at some new slang that kids are using. But before we do, if you are over 30, you must swear you won't use any of these words in conversation--have some self-respect. The only exception is if you're trying to embarrass your children.
Rizz: A shortened form of "charisma," "rizz" means being charming, suave, and likable. It's usually used in relation to a romantic partner. If you add "up," it can be used as a verb too, meaning to charm. Example: "I'm going to rizz up some girls in Roblox."
Wholesome: I'm sure you know what "wholesome" means, but use of the word has become extremely popular among younger people over the last few years as a way of describing anything that is nice, normal, positive, and/or sincere. "That's so wholesome!" someone might say upon watching a mother push their child on a swing or an old couple hug.
Wokefishing: Wokefishing combines "woke" and "catfishing" to describe the unwholesome dating strategy of feigning social consciousness in order to get laid. Wokefishing is showing up at the women's march with a pink hat only because you heard a lot of chicks will be there. Like every "getting laid strategy," wokefishing been around forever; it's only the name that's new.
Cleavage sex: We used to call this "titty-fucking."
Serving cunt: Despite our history of using the c-word as a slur, "serving cunt" is a celebratory phrase meaning, "to be powerful in an unapologetic and feminine manner."
Examples of serving cunt include Martha Stewart posing on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue at 80 years old, Sharon Stone in both Basic Instinct and The Quick and the Dead, and everything The Runaways ever recorded. Although it refers to a feminine style of kicking ass, any gender can serve cunt.
The phrase as it is currently being used grew out of the drag community, and has since become the meme-of-the-moment, with online people (particularly on Twitter) asking how to serve cunt in a variety of ways, and commenters coming up with the answer. Examples:
Are "weird walks" destined to become the fitness trend of the summer?
TikTok fitness trends are usually iffy, but I can totally get behind the idea of "weird walks." Created by TikToker leuvenzoekt, a weird walk is when you go out and walk until you find something unusual or strange. It might be a taxidermied animal holding a sign, a pagan ritual, or a gigantic peanut-man. Once you've spotted something odd, can call it a day and trudge home, or take a video of your find and post it on TikTok, where the weird walks hashtag has over 7 million views.
I love this trend, because it takes the "seriousness" (and boringness) out of getting outside and getting some exercise. It turns taking a stroll into a little adventure--a quest with a win condition--and it keeps people thinking, noticing, and being alive. The world needs more weird walks, and I'd go on one right now, but I have Koroks to torture.
Torturing Koroks in The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom
Like every other gamer, I blew the dust off my Nintendo Switch this week to play The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. The epic open-world adventure game has been earning effusive praise from both gamers and critics alike for its sandbox physics puzzles, perfectly tuned gameplay, and the fact that it's a new freaking Zelda game.
Tears of the Kingdom's craft-anything system allows players to not only invent unique solutions to in-game problems, it also lets them show off the cool and strange stuff they come up with. Like this working mech, this fighter plane, many war machines, and even more penises.
But many gamers are using the physics and machines in the game to torture Koroks in innovative ways. Like crucifying them, burning them at the stake, and making them re-enact 9/11. I usually frown upon wanton cruelty, but in the case of Koroks and their maddening puzzles, I make an exception. They deserve it all.
Viral video of the week: Taylor Swift vs a random. security guard
This week, everyone is sharing the video of Taylor Swift sticking up for one of her fans during the Philly stop of her Eras tour. At the show, a security guard was being aggressive to some Swifties, and Taylor, without missing a note of "Bad Blood," started serving cunt from the stage, telling the guard, "she's fine," "hey stop!" and "she wasn't doing anything!"
Video of the confrontation spread everywhere, and the sound clip of the guard being berated took off on TikTok, with fans making parody videos, lip-syncing along, and applying Swiftian "Hey Stop!" energy to moments in their own lives. Reportedly the fan, Kelly Inglis Kelly, really was only dancing. The security guard was reportedly escorted from the building after the incident. I predict that Taylor Swift will never perform this song again without joyous fans adding the "She wasn't doing anything!" part.